One last thing about truth and memoir. Everyone sees through the filters of his/her own perception. One daughter remembers her mother as harsh and unloving, the other born a couple of years later, recalls the same mother as affectionate and caring. The father looks at the two daughters and sees one insecure wallflower who clings to her mama, while the other one takes on one challenge after another in a succession of achievements. The mother knows she loves each daughter equally. Which daughter is which? If each person here wrote an honest memoir, each would be truth, but truth as seen through their own perception.

Ellen - Thank you!

Mikel K - Thanks for you comment over at Huffington Post, too!

Myfanwy - And you, too, Myf!

Ric - I’m always glad to see you here. And thank you.

Elizabeth - Me, too.

Gail - I hear you on feeling like you’re being evaluated. I’ll bet if you explore the idea of vanity and mother-daughter relationships, you’ll write yourself a nice, publishable story.

Beauty is one of those things that it’s hard to be honest about — speaking of truthfulness. Myself, I’ve tried to not look in the mirror at all for many many years. But then, having a beautiful daughter has been a real challenge for me. In that, she is constantly pointing out my flaws and trying to improve me. She’s always critiquing what I wear, to the point where I now allow her to help me buy clothes (something I hate to do), often at the boutique where she works. She gives me makeup advice, because I’m kind of a dunce about that, too. If anything, she has heightened my vanity, because I’m aware of being evaluated — far more than men ever evaluated me. (My sense about men has always been that they’re just happy to get you naked. They’re not as picky about how we look as we are.) There is nothing more humiliating than having the daughter you love grimace at your appearance.

And the daughter-scrutiny has snowballed. I’m now sporting a new haircut, with highlights. Next I think she’s going to attack my confortable shoes and try to get me to wear something with stilletos. On that point I will not give. I walk over a mile to the train every day, and can’t do it on stilts.

Congrats on the Huffington Post.

Congratulations on your news! That is wonderful. It’s one of my daily reads and I’ll be delighted to see you there, Susan.

Hmmmmmmmm…I’m wondering if this is always a good thing. They were trying to teach me restraint of tongue and pen(and email!!) somewhere along the line. Congrats on the Huffington column.

oh yeah, I’m so happy to see you using the word “fearless” so fearlessly. Certainly you know that makes me very happy indeed.

Great wrap this week!

I’ll be back. ;)