Comments on: Jolene Siana

By: Laura Benedict

Laura Benedict — Mon, 30 Apr 2007 13:13:57 +0000

What an honest, thoughtful interview. It’s such a miracle that Ogre saved those letters. We’re so lucky that we don’t get all the things we hope/pray for in this life–but what a blessing when a gift is bestowed, un-asked for, un-dreamed for. And how wonderful, too, Jolene, that the process of this book gave you and your mother a measure of peace. Well done–I predict a remarkable career!

By: Susan Henderson

Susan Henderson — Sat, 28 Apr 2007 00:36:25 +0000

Jolene - Every one of your book ideas sound like good ones. Fascinating how the panic attacks started when you stopped cutting. Add that to your list of books you can write. I’ve known lots of cutters and lots of people who get panic attacks, but it’s not something people understand well or talk about much. A couple of colleagues of mine from my old line of work put out this book - Understanding Self Injury by Kristy Trautman and Robin Conners (http://www.gannett.cornell.edu/pharmacy/selfhelpbooks.html)- but it’s a clinical approach, and I don’t know any actual writers who’ve tackled the subject in a narrative form.

You’ve been a wonderful guest, Jolene. Thanks so much for being here this week!

John - Welcome!

By: John Bourne

John Bourne — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 22:22:02 +0000

Hi Jolene,

Really nice article.

I was particularly touched by the journey you and your mother have been through since the publication of your book.

I too used to have lots of penpals. The letters were wonderfully therapeutic.

Being ‘in the moment’ - there is nothing more beautiful.

Take care,

John Bourne.

By: Susan Henderson

Susan Henderson — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:16:28 +0000

Hey, everyone, I’m talking with Terry about the problem with comments being eaten, and I apologize and will get that fixed.

In the meantime, I’m going to post a response by Jolene Siana:

Thanks Susan, actually this is something I wanted to talk about. After I stopped cutting I began to have panic attacks. At first it was quite debilitating but after I went to the library and got 10 books on panic disorder I learned how to deal with it and treat it. After about 6 months I stopped having them. I had gone to a doctor about it and he immediately suggested drugs, which I declined. After several check ups he declared me well-adjusted and told me that he didn’t think I needed to attend the support group meetings that they offered. Although, looking back. I wish I had gone.

Over the years I’ve had symptoms come and go, relating to, General Anxiety disorder, which, I’ve been diagnosed with. I considered an anti-anxiety medication only once but quickly decided against it. I would just rather learn about my behavior and issues instead of trying to mask it. There are ups and downs and believe me, there are times when I would like to take, like a pill, a quick fixÂ, so to speak but I don’t. Now, when I’m feeling anxious, I write and paint and go for walks. I remind myself to stay focused and balanced. Sometimes it’s easy. Sometimes it’s not.

At the moment I’m actually working on another young adult memoir. It’s all the preceding events to Go Ask Ogre from age 14 to 23 so you can see what led to the depression and cutting and what happened shortly afterwards. It will also be visual like Go Ask Ogre.

As far as a memoir of my adult life. Yeah, I’d love to do that. And my first year in New York has given me plenty of material to work with, that’s for sure! I document everything and take notes all the time, so I guess my answer is, Yes.

Thanks so much for the suggestion of an afterword in Go Ask Ogre.

By: Lori Oliva

Lori Oliva — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 23:57:41 +0000

Whoa. Self-loathing comes in so many forms. Many of which are subconscious…making the wrong choices, loving the wrong people, living the wrong life. Hopefully one day we snap out of it. Sometimes it takes therapy. I still struggle with unhealthy thoughts and right now seem to be overcoming them. Anxiety and “What if” situations can put you into a tail spin faster than a blink. Thank you for sharing your stories and experiences. It’s brought me back to a lot of dark times as an outsider growing up.

By: jolene

jolene — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 19:21:19 +0000

Yep! I will indeed be there!
Thanks so much Darrin! I’m looking forward to seeing you there! I love the KGB Bar!

By: Darrin

Darrin — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 16:13:17 +0000

Powerful story, Jolene. You’ve bravely shown that writing letters can be such a creative antidote to hopelessness.

For everyone else — I suppose Jolene has been too modest to mention that she’ll be reading at KGB Bar in NYC on May 8th. See you there, Jolene!

Darrin

By: lance reynald

lance reynald — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 06:01:01 +0000

wondertwin- I can totally see the record shop you’re talking about in my head…the name escapes me. I always bought my vinyl at that indy shop in Dupont. usually after some under-aged drinking at Dupont Villa and hanging with the punk couriers in the circle, chain smoking Newports…and if I recall correctly, Commander Salamander had a measly magazine rack of import vinyl…Oh yeah…SMASH! lol.

By: Susan Henderson

Susan Henderson — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 02:40:28 +0000

amy, billie, Paula, and Betsy - Thank you for being here. And Paula, what an insightful perspective you have. Your comment woke something up in me that was sleeping.

Karen - I think she’s brave, too. I also think fiction writers can go places that take unbelievable courage and vulnerability. I have a guest coming here in a couple of weeks, and we’ve been talking a lot about Coetzee, who’s mighty courageous, and one of many.

Lance - Do you remember that indie record store on M Street, about 2 blocks from Poseurs? That’s where I bought my first Skinny Puppy record.

Daryl - I think you stirred some souls during your interview, as well. I’m glad you’re here.

Nathalie - And to you, for being moved.

Jolene - Thanks so much for such an honest interview. I have two questions, if you feel like answering them. One has to do with the cutting. I’d love to hear you talk about how that was an outlet and what you’ve substituted in its place. Also, I would love to see a memoir from you written by the grown up Jolene and wondered if you’ve considered writing one.

Carolyn - Wow, you said it about truth. Even for those of us who tell truths with fiction. And I second the request for that mother-daughter book!

By: Carolyn Burns Bass

Carolyn Burns Bass — Wed, 25 Apr 2007 22:12:43 +0000

Fabulous interview, Susan and Jolene. GO ASK OGRE sounds like a powerful book.

Truth is an anti-inflammatory for psychic pain. Whether in a memoir, over a counseling session, or upon one’s deathbed, truth is a type of mental medicine. I hope GO ASK OGRE sells enough copies to warrant an afterward that reveals the remarkable healing between Jolene and her mom as a result of the book.

Most amazing to me is that Ogre kept Jolene’s letters intact through the years. This says as much to me about Ogre as it does Jolene. (Bravo, Ogre.) I wonder how many other Jolenes there are, pouring their hearts out to pop icons who read (or not) and toss them away as the deranged scribblings of crazed fans.