Comments on: Question of the Week: Mistakes. http://litpark.com/2007/05/07/question-of-the-week-mistakes/ where writers come to play Fri, 08 Aug 2008 19:54:05 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2 By: Cordelia http://litpark.com/2007/05/07/question-of-the-week-mistakes/#comment-76093 Cordelia Sun, 09 Dec 2007 03:33:01 +0000 http://litpark.com/2007/05/07/question-of-the-week-mistakes/#comment-76093 My current hobby is continually beating myself up for any and all (small and large) mistakes I made in the raising of my children. I am very good at it, almost qualifying as a masochist except that I do not enjoy this sort of pain. I am talking about the tiniest of mistakes, mispoken words, not paying enough attention at a given moment, not making myself even more of the doormat that I was (and in some ways, remain). I have always been hard on myself in many ways, but since they both are on their own now, in committed relationships, successful and happy (for which I am very thankful and glad) and I do not often see them, mistakes and stupidities from the past rise up and smite my mind and heart -- sometimes many times every day. It is all so useless. I cannot go back and redo anything and what I did was not such a bad job, despite everything. I cannot figure out why it is I seem to want to redo so many things, something I know is impossible but want it anyway. I would love to stop this self-torture but nothing seems to work. It is nice to have found this blog and seen that I am not alone, at least. I must say that all of us who engage in self-torture of this nature, at least we have caring hearts, which is way more than what most of the world seems to have. My current hobby is continually beating myself up for any and all (small and large) mistakes I made in the raising of my children. I am very good at it, almost qualifying as a masochist except that I do not enjoy this sort of pain. I am talking about the tiniest of mistakes, mispoken words, not paying enough attention at a given moment, not making myself even more of the doormat that I was (and in some ways, remain). I have always been hard on myself in many ways, but since they both are on their own now, in committed relationships, successful and happy (for which I am very thankful and glad) and I do not often see them, mistakes and stupidities from the past rise up and smite my mind and heart — sometimes many times every day. It is all so useless. I cannot go back and redo anything and what I did was not such a bad job, despite everything. I cannot figure out why it is I seem to want to redo so many things, something I know is impossible but want it anyway. I would love to stop this self-torture but nothing seems to work.
It is nice to have found this blog and seen that I am not alone, at least. I must say that all of us who engage in self-torture of this nature, at least we have caring hearts, which is way more than what most of the world seems to have.

]]> By: C http://litpark.com/2007/05/07/question-of-the-week-mistakes/#comment-75907 C Wed, 21 Nov 2007 17:44:36 +0000 http://litpark.com/2007/05/07/question-of-the-week-mistakes/#comment-75907 Wearing my heart on my sleeve...way too many times.I have loved too easily and too quickly which has led to much bliss and also much pain. Wearing my heart on my sleeve…way too many
times.I have loved too easily and too quickly
which has led to much bliss and also much pain.

]]> By: Just me http://litpark.com/2007/05/07/question-of-the-week-mistakes/#comment-75885 Just me Tue, 20 Nov 2007 08:34:26 +0000 http://litpark.com/2007/05/07/question-of-the-week-mistakes/#comment-75885 I got here by pondering this question trying to open a new window, "How do I tell the world how sorry I am for all the mistakes that I have made in life". Guess that perhaps I need to stop feeling so sorry for myself, stop acting so stupid in life and try to make some amends to some people and not sure who all of them really are. I think that bugs me a lot, keeps me from having the confidence that I really want is that I am not sure who I have hurt or who still supports me? Ironic hugh? If I knew who I hurt, then I would know what I was or had done that was wrong and perhaps I could fix that? It seems to me that some people think that they know what I have done that was wrong, my only wonder is how can they when I really don't? If I knew who my supporters were and what they were actually supporting me for or in I think it would help me to be able to do better in the long run. The thing is I am not sure how to go about figuring all of that out or what kind of amends I need to make, or to who? I think forgiveness is not so much about them as about me letting go, and so if that is the situation then I don't have to expect anything from anyone besides myself right? Me oh me oh my, LOL LOL LOL Kind of wish this were my blog and I was you and people were being honest with me. What have you done to make the world a better place today and who do you owe amends too? How did you figure out what your greatest mistakes in life were and how did you fix them? Silly ain't I? Just moving along here I suppose? I got here by pondering this question trying to open a new window, “How do I tell the world how sorry I am for all the mistakes that I have made in life”. Guess that perhaps I need to stop feeling so sorry for myself, stop acting so stupid in life and try to make some amends to some people and not sure who all of them really are. I think that bugs me a lot, keeps me from having the confidence that I really want is that I am not sure who I have hurt or who still supports me? Ironic hugh? If I knew who I hurt, then I would know what I was or had done that was wrong and perhaps I could fix that? It seems to me that some people think that they know what I have done that was wrong, my only wonder is how can they when I really don’t? If I knew who my supporters were and what they were actually supporting me for or in I think it would help me to be able to do better in the long run. The thing is I am not sure how to go about figuring all of that out or what kind of amends I need to make, or to who? I think forgiveness is not so much about them as about me letting go, and so if that is the situation then I don’t have to expect anything from anyone besides myself right? Me oh me oh my, LOL LOL LOL Kind of wish this were my blog and I was you and people were being honest with me. What have you done to make the world a better place today and who do you owe amends too? How did you figure out what your greatest mistakes in life were and how did you fix them? Silly ain’t I? Just moving along here I suppose?

]]> By: Juliet http://litpark.com/2007/05/07/question-of-the-week-mistakes/#comment-26906 Juliet Thu, 10 May 2007 23:59:10 +0000 http://litpark.com/2007/05/07/question-of-the-week-mistakes/#comment-26906 We love you too, Daryl. We love you too, Daryl.

]]> By: daryl http://litpark.com/2007/05/07/question-of-the-week-mistakes/#comment-26840 daryl Thu, 10 May 2007 19:27:28 +0000 http://litpark.com/2007/05/07/question-of-the-week-mistakes/#comment-26840 "thank you daryl for confessing nothing at all..." “thank you daryl for confessing nothing at all…”

]]> By: daryl http://litpark.com/2007/05/07/question-of-the-week-mistakes/#comment-26839 daryl Thu, 10 May 2007 19:22:46 +0000 http://litpark.com/2007/05/07/question-of-the-week-mistakes/#comment-26839 i "hate" people who when asked, "if you had it all to do over again, would you?", who emphatically state that they would not change a thing in their lives. either these people are of that higher caste, "the truly enlightened" or they are of that lower caste, "they who live in the here and now, who only look at the decision which is right before them and take full responsibility for all their lives deeds". does this make any sense? so, do i thus hate everyone? yes i do. all a mistake is is the poorer chosen option. my life is a culmination of never choosing the best options... i made mistakes. sure. but i made the best decisions that i could under all of my circumstances. would i like to be 17 years old again? knowing what i know now, hell yes i would go through that dreadful and lonely and frightening year again. if i was given the gift of foresight and had the option of changing my decisions, would i? there is the catch. i don't know if i would have the balls to or not. one different decision remade during the entirety of one's life can change the world's history. there was no one great mistake i've made. but every time i could have chosen to say more, or to be quiet, or to put more effort into something, or to walk away... what i did was always the RIGHT decision because if i hadn't made them, i would not be right here, right now. and hey, i don't "hate" anyone... love, daryl i “hate” people who when asked, “if you had it all to do over again, would you?”, who emphatically state that they would not change a thing in their lives. either these people are of that higher caste, “the truly enlightened” or they are of that lower caste, “they who live in the here and now, who only look at the decision which is right before them and take full responsibility for all their lives deeds”.

does this make any sense? so, do i thus hate everyone? yes i do.

all a mistake is is the poorer chosen option. my life is a culmination of never choosing the best options… i made mistakes. sure. but i made the best decisions that i could under all of my circumstances. would i like to be 17 years old again? knowing what i know now, hell yes i would go through that dreadful and lonely and frightening year again. if i was given the gift of foresight and had the option of changing my decisions, would i? there is the catch. i don’t know if i would have the balls to or not. one different decision remade during the entirety of one’s life can change the world’s history.

there was no one great mistake i’ve made. but every time i could have chosen to say more, or to be quiet, or to put more effort into something, or to walk away… what i did was always the RIGHT decision because if i hadn’t made them, i would not be right here, right now.

and hey, i don’t “hate” anyone…

love,
daryl

]]> By: David Niall Wilson http://litpark.com/2007/05/07/question-of-the-week-mistakes/#comment-26493 David Niall Wilson Wed, 09 May 2007 19:03:49 +0000 http://litpark.com/2007/05/07/question-of-the-week-mistakes/#comment-26493 How in the world would you choose? And also - as much as I may regret certain actions / happenings in my past, I can also follow their trail into my present and see the things I would have missed / never known if I'd chosen differently...who can say if it would be better now if I'd been better then? I regret convincing my first wife to marry me. We were both far too young, and both quite happy together prior to the marriage. Things spun out of control not long after we signed the papers, and I have to think that a lot of things would be different had I not been so adamant ... in fact, looking back, I'm sure this was brought on by insecurity and the fear of losing her. In any case...as much as it hurt, we are both doing well now...and actually on speaking terms... Life is a crap shoot and if you're going to go for 7's and 11's every throw, you're going to be very disappointed over time. DNW How in the world would you choose? And also - as much as I may regret certain actions / happenings in my past, I can also follow their trail into my present and see the things I would have missed / never known if I’d chosen differently…who can say if it would be better now if I’d been better then?

I regret convincing my first wife to marry me. We were both far too young, and both quite happy together prior to the marriage. Things spun out of control not long after we signed the papers, and I have to think that a lot of things would be different had I not been so adamant … in fact, looking back, I’m sure this was brought on by insecurity and the fear of losing her.

In any case…as much as it hurt, we are both doing well now…and actually on speaking terms…

Life is a crap shoot and if you’re going to go for 7’s and 11’s every throw, you’re going to be very disappointed over time.

DNW

]]> By: Jody Reale http://litpark.com/2007/05/07/question-of-the-week-mistakes/#comment-26466 Jody Reale Wed, 09 May 2007 16:03:29 +0000 http://litpark.com/2007/05/07/question-of-the-week-mistakes/#comment-26466 I guess that I, too, am going to take a pass this week. There's been some potent stuff posted; I read Mr. Reynold's and Juliet's entries several times. But I keep getting distracted by all the things I've told myself about mistakes in general, and mine in particular. What even <i>is</i> a mistake, I keep wondering. I can't help but think of them without thinking of all the things that happen immediately afterward and out into infinity, both to me and countless others. I can't help but begin praying to the holy trinity of Should-a, Could-a, Would-a. I can't help but think that thinking too much about them train us to think that we've been right or wrong, when I know how overrated being right is; as my dad would say, "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day, buddy." I can't help but remember that obsessing over a mistake that I've made is likely to trip me up in the future, even though we all know that old saw about history repeating itself. So I'll just say this: I guess we need them or we wouldn't have them. (And thanks for the writing prompt. I'll be chewing on it for a nice, long while.) I guess that I, too, am going to take a pass this week. There’s been some potent stuff posted; I read Mr. Reynold’s and Juliet’s entries several times. But I keep getting distracted by all the things I’ve told myself about mistakes in general, and mine in particular.

What even is a mistake, I keep wondering. I can’t help but think of them without thinking of all the things that happen immediately afterward and out into infinity, both to me and countless others. I can’t help but begin praying to the holy trinity of Should-a, Could-a, Would-a. I can’t help but think that thinking too much about them train us to think that we’ve been right or wrong, when I know how overrated being right is; as my dad would say, “Even a stopped clock is right twice a day, buddy.” I can’t help but remember that obsessing over a mistake that I’ve made is likely to trip me up in the future, even though we all know that old saw about history repeating itself.

So I’ll just say this: I guess we need them or we wouldn’t have them. (And thanks for the writing prompt. I’ll be chewing on it for a nice, long while.)

]]> By: J.D. Smith http://litpark.com/2007/05/07/question-of-the-week-mistakes/#comment-26455 J.D. Smith Wed, 09 May 2007 14:59:44 +0000 http://litpark.com/2007/05/07/question-of-the-week-mistakes/#comment-26455 Although I am unwilling to get into specifics, most of my mistakes have been sins of omission: that piece not written, that application not filled out, that confession of love not made in a timely way. Whatever successes I've had have stemmed from taking some kind of risk, and the experiences of taking risks and failing recede into the background. The chances not taken can haunt us. Fortunately, I'm learning to embrace the risks before me. Although I am unwilling to get into specifics, most of my mistakes have been sins of omission: that piece not written, that application not filled out, that confession of love not made in a timely way. Whatever successes I’ve had have stemmed from taking some kind of risk, and the experiences of taking risks and failing recede into the background.

The chances not taken can haunt us. Fortunately, I’m learning to embrace the risks before me.

]]> By: Richard http://litpark.com/2007/05/07/question-of-the-week-mistakes/#comment-26433 Richard Wed, 09 May 2007 13:23:21 +0000 http://litpark.com/2007/05/07/question-of-the-week-mistakes/#comment-26433 "Regrets, I have a few, but then again, too few to mention…" I wish. It's really hard to read everyone's comments without reflecting on some "mistakes" of my own. But since I've only recently come to accept that I've actually been personally responsible for what's happened to me (time and again), I'm realizing that maybe there are no mistakes - wait - is this denial AGAIN? (Denial is a vicious, omnivorous, sneaky-ass killer, pouncing in mid-thought, eviscerating glimmers of truth.) Can shame or a bad conscience be put to rest? Will we EVER forgive ourselves and move forward? This morning, for me, self-awareness is much too raw… and I *should* delete this comment without posting. I'm copping out. Is that a mistake? “Regrets, I have a few, but then again, too few to mention…”

I wish.

It’s really hard to read everyone’s comments without reflecting on some “mistakes” of my own. But since I’ve only recently come to accept that I’ve actually been personally responsible for what’s happened to me (time and again), I’m realizing that maybe there are no mistakes - wait - is this denial AGAIN? (Denial is a vicious, omnivorous, sneaky-ass killer, pouncing in mid-thought, eviscerating glimmers of truth.) Can shame or a bad conscience be put to rest? Will we EVER forgive ourselves and move forward? This morning, for me, self-awareness is much too raw… and I *should* delete this comment without posting.

I’m copping out. Is that a mistake?

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