???

Standing at a hot craps table in, let’s say, the MGM on Tropicana and LV Blvd, is an excellent “people watching” exercise. Great for a writer. There are definitely some insights into the human condition, which might be gleaned in such a milieu! True dat.

Once, I was at a craps table (this was in the old Desert Inn, on the strip…long, long since torn down) and anyway Bruce Willis was at this craps table, too. He kept making all these complicated proposition bets before every roll, some weird wagers that I had never even heard of before, and I thought I knew the game of craps! I mean, Bruce would spend at least five minutes getting all his crazy bets down, and it was clear that one of the croupiers was getting a little perturbed by his showboat action.

But what could he do? It’s Bruce Willis, right?

I just kept my money on the pass line, and there was this one good looking lady shooter who was on an incredible roll, so I made out pretty good.Probably cleared at least a couple grand. At one point, old Bruce saw my rising stack of chips, and gave me a little thumbs up.

Cheap thrills, people!

Anyway, after about a half hour, Bruce and his handlers headed out of there, and so I asked the main stick boss, the one who’d gotten pissed off, before–how Willis made out.

“He musta dropped at least a hundred grand,” the croupier said.

“Really?” I said, “he seemed all happy to me.”

The croupier shrugged:

“The money ain’t nothing to him, but I think he really digs the attention.”

“The adoration, you mean,” I said.

“Whatever,” said the stick man. “Freaking big shots, they’re a pain in the ass.”

Then, after I talked to the guy for a few more minutes, I went across the casino and blew all my craps winnings, and then some, at a nickel minimum blackjack table. There weren’t any celebrities at that table, and I received no adoration whatsoever, from anyone.

;)–D